I just got my new copy of Kirby on the Nintendo 64, I was feeling pretty nostalgic because I used to play Kirby on the Nintendo 64 a whole 5 years ago.
So it was a great thing I got it for free from the creepy old guy that I think *might be* a serial rapist, but my nostalgia couldn’t wait for the law!
Anyways, when I turned the game on, the title screen read “Kirby 64 THE BLOODY SHARDS” and I thought “What is this?!?! A rom hack?!” being the dedicated Nintendo fan I am, I was about to report this crime to Nintendo (my friends) but I thought what the heck, and turned the game on.
When I turned the first level on I saw the SKY WAS RED AND BLOODY and when the enemies died BLOOD CAME OUT, there was ALSO ORGANS COMING FROM THE SKY.
I was almost in tears, but I bravely pressed on.
Instead of the first miniboss....it was.......it..........was........me!?!?!?!?
It had my real name and everything!! And when I turned on the attack and attacked me, there was.......bruises on me.....OUCH!!!
I was so scared I ran to the Nintendo 64 and was about to turn on the off button, but before that I HEARD
“I’Ll FInd YoU....TOMMY GREEN!!!!!!!”
AS KIRBY WITH BLACK EYES A ORGANS COMING OUT OF HIS MOUTH SAID TO ME!!!!!
I SCREAMED IN PANIC AND SMASHED THE NINTENDO 64 TO BITS!!!!!!
To this day, I am yet to play another video game......
And if you listen close enough....you might be able to hears Kirby’s diabolical laughter....in the night.....